That girl's as useless as balls on a dildo since she came back from seg.
And she was there, what? Three minutes? Can I help you? Brought you a gift.
I don't need no more stale-ass tobacco.
This is to make up for that.
This is fresh, I promise.
Put some peppermint in it, turned it into a menthol.
CO catches you back here, you gonna get a shot.
So, uh, you and, uh you and Red on friendly terms now? Doesn't concern you.
Damn, that woman knows how to run a game on people.
I could tell you some stories.
Hey, have you ever heard of the fable of the scorpion and the frog? What, I'm the fucking frog? You two in cahoots.
I know she's doing business.
Let me guess.
You've got a vendor connection and she's handling your sales.
I'm just here to cook.
Whatever Red's got going, got nothing to do with me.
You want a partner? I promise I'm a much better bet, because all Red wants is to get her kitchen back.
You listen to me.
Whatever you think you know, you don't.
I'm keeping my hands clean, my shit polished.
I got no connections with vendors or illegal swag coming through.
And I don't trust any of you crazy bitches.
You're both fucking scorpions.
Shit, shit, shit.
Hey, listen, in the grand scheme of things, I mean, what's a cigarette, really? You know, it's a plant and some paper.
When you think about all the horrible things I could be doing.
Smoke all you want.
I don't care anymore.
I got fired.
Hey, good for you.
You don't get it.
What am I gonna do now? I'm not good at stuff.
Well, for sure, you weren't great at this.
But that reflects highly on you, trust me.
I had medical and dental.
I was paying off my Kia.
You're a decent human being, you know.
Getting canned from this soul-sucking pit is the best thing that ever happened to you.
Go home, take a hot bath, and start looking into technical colleges.
Or cosmetology.
Learn to wax armpits and vag lips.
There's a million things out there for you.
- Can I ask you a question? - Yeah, shoot.
Like, a while back, were you hitting on me? We don't dream, we die, right? So, how'd I do? I thought about it.
Seriously? Not in a thousand years.
But thank you.
Susan, pack your shit and get the fuck out of here.
Are you gonna be okay? It is what it is.
Babe, you got fired? Lame.
Let me go see him.
We need to get back.
It's all part of my escape plan.
He's going to distract you with his tears.
Just give me a second.
It's the fucking curse.
I pull you in.
I don't kiss you, but still, we did a job.
What are you talking about? I told you, all the men in my life die.
I'm not a man in your life.
Okay? You said so yourself, I'm a little shitpot.
You're too fucking young to die.
So I'm not gonna die.
I'm done with chemo.
I'm in remission.
Listen, Rosa, it's been a lot of fun hanging out.
It's been a trip.
Enjoy prison.
Enjoy your life, shitpot.
So, what should I say? You was right, I was wrong? Should've stuck with the band.
I'm clearly not a solo artist.
But at least you're still alive.
The curse never got you.
Well, I never did the after kiss.
Maybe that's what saved me.
Why did I do that? You didn't wanna fuck me.
Oh, but I did.
Just on a bigger bed of money.
Greedy me.
I miss the smell, Donny.
I love the smell of cash, man.
The excitement, the performance, the rush.
What am I gonna do in here for kicks? Mmm? You know, Chapman been getting special treatment since the minute she got here.
Figures she'd be the first to get furlough.
Man, I fucking blew it.
I had a solid two weeks out of this joint, and I wasted half that time looking for your sorry ass.
Fuck that.
You done found time to violate your probation, land your wide butt back up in here.
Bitch, at least you seen daylight outside this fence.
Man, I tried for six months to get furlough.
Clearly a dead black mom ain't no competition for a sick, old white granny.
You and your man aren't even together no more.
What a waste.
If I got out, me and Cesar would be fucking all damn day.
Diablo and I would go all day and all night.
Sick abuela.
The fuck you came up with that one? Christ, Chapman, everybody hates your fucking guts.
Yeah, what else is new? "Jealousy is as fierce as the grave," Song of Solomon.
Toni Morrison? The Bible, sweetie.
Man, people's parents fucking go.
Got sick people in here who can't get proper treatment.
Chapman ain't got no strife in her life, but bitch gets the red carpet laid out for her.
The new Jim Crow.
Bitch probably got down on her knees.
Took a mouthful of that pink Healy dick.
Yes, I am white! We have established that.
And I got furlough, too.
I guess white privilege wins again.
And as a speaker for the entire white race, I would like to say I am sorry that you guys got the raw deal, but I love my fucking grandmother.
And, yeah yeah, she may be a whitey, too but she's a fucking person and she's sick and she needs me! So shut the fuck up! It's not my problem.
You and Vee got beef, don't drag me into your shit.
I thought Puerto Ricans hated black people.
We don't like Russians neither.
- She's a bully.
- You're both fucking bullies and I don't trust neither one of you.
Now I said that I will help you and I did.
But I am not gonna get caught up in the middle of some whitey versus blackie war.
Y'all got history, I want nothing to do with that.
I'll get it out as soon as I can.
You've got tres días.
That's "three days" in English.
Sí, señora.
In the meantime, is that really the best that you can do? What? I saved your ass, bitch.
Here's your shit, all safe and sound.
You want Caputo playing hot and cold in your greenhouse? 'Cause we can go right back to your little planter system right now.
Okay, okay.
I appreciate the gesture.
Give me a little time for things to cool down.
I've got your order coming.
Deal's still on.
We're good, you and me, huh? We're good.
Healy, I can't take my furlough.
I wanna give it back.
There are people here who are way more needy.
There are people here whose parents are sick.
- Children - For Christ's sake, what is with you? Look, I don't even understand why you did this for me.
You hate me! Nobody gets this! Chapman, I spent my morning telling an old lady that she has terminal cancer and that the DOC won't cover her surgery.
And she said I was useless.
And you know what? She was right.
When I started this job, I was very idealistic.
I was gonna make a difference.
But I'm a paper pusher.
I fill out forms.
Most of what I do is, I keep you safe and clean.
And occasionally, once in a blue moon, I get an opportunity to give one of those forms an extra nudge.
- Most people would be grateful.
- I was.
I am! Until it turned me into a target! There's no taking back furlough.
When your ride is ready, you be in that car on your way to see your sick grandmother.
And girls will talk and they'll get jealous, and, yes, it's possible they may even try to slock you in your sleep, but ignore them.
Chapman, people die, and you don't get that moment back.
So you go and see her and you tell her how much you love her and you tell her how sorry you are for letting her down.
You clear your conscience.
This is about saying goodbye.
I'm giving you that.
Take it.
Okay, I will.
That wasn't bad.
Your counseling.
You did a good job.
I brought you some plants.
They're in smaller pots, you see? You're gonna grow 'em in here? No, these are for you.
Uh, I'm not gonna grow in here.
I don't have the time.
I'll find some other way to relax.
Make sure Red gets those, okay? If you had one day on the outside, how would you spend it? Oh go to my market, taste the pirozhkis, make sure Dimitri hasn't let it all go to shit.
The what? The piroso Pirosis? Pirozhkis.
Stuffed buns, like a meat pie.
I was famous for them.
On Sunday there'd be a line out the door.
It was my favorite day.
I'd imagine the families laughing, talking, fighting, all while enjoying my pirozhkis.
It's in Queens, a quick ride on the N train.
Will you go? To your place? I wouldn't ask if I wasn't worried.
I need someone to check it out, order a sandwich, take a look let me know how it's running.
Can't you ask your sons? I don't think they're being honest with me.
I know you have family business.
I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.
I'm not sure if I need to be at the hospital.
Of course.
I don't know if I'll have time.
I'll go if I can.
Only if you have time.
How do you say that? Pirosees? - Pirozhkis.
- Pirozhkis.
The best.
Hell, what's with the back up? Latin girls have a lot of hair.
This is not right.
You cannot force me to shower.
I'm not hurting anybody.
My nose would disagree, and four complaints have been filed.
It's in the rules.
You shower regularly.
Who determines what's regular? Christ.
Let's go to C block.
No, I refuse.
I am demonstrating passive resistance.
We are demonstrating aggressive aggression.
Let's go, Pocahontas.
- Off with it, Soso.
- No! You better wash fast, bitch.
Because a shit storm coming up out of there any second now.
Hey, hey, hey, Kojak.
How'd it go yesterday? Did you see your little friend? He's in remission.
Oh! That's wonderful, right? Wonderful for him.
Come on.
Soon you'll be gettin' your clean bill of health.
No, soon I'm gonna be dead.
I always pictured myself going out in a blaze of glory.
Hail of gunfire, screech of tires.
But this kind of death this slow, invisible disappearing into nothing It's terrifying.
I'm gonna go back to sleep now.
The chemo, it wipes me out.
You do that.
Hello? Mom! God, I've been trying to get in touch with you guys for the past day.
My furlough went through! Piper? So, I need Daddy's license plate number or Cal's.
Who's coming? And, uh, a change of clothes.
- Piper? - A change of clothes.
Um, tell Larry the blue sweater.
I think it's at Polly's.
Grandmother's gone.
She passed last night.
But I'm getting out.
Honey? I missed it.
I missed it.
You were there in spirit.
Piper? Yes, Joe? I terminated Fischer yesterday.
She needs to get paid through the end of the month.
That must've been hard for you.
Please don't start.
We're already understaffed.
She had value.
I suppose you must've thought so.
We're not gonna get stuck with a sexual harassment suit, are we? Good.
As for the staffing issue, I understand it's hard to find quality people.
It takes a certain kind of je ne sais quoi to be effective in this environment.
"Je ne sais quoi" doesn't always work for 18 an hour.
I hire the best people I can find.
I know, and you're overwhelmed.
But we need some more muscle in here.
I'm gonna help you out.
I'll do my own hiring.
Thank you.
It's already been taken care of.
he bought herself a house in Wellfleet and she started kayaking.
She always used to say to me, "Go out and eat the world, Piper.
"Don't you get stuck at home with some man.
" I may have taken that last part too literally.
Let me guess, "Dear Miss Chapman, no one gets furlough.
"Not you, not anyone, but especially not you.
"Love, the DOC.

Read more:
he bought herself a house in Wellfleet and she started kayaking.
She always used to say to me, "Go out and eat the world, Piper.
"Don't you get stuck at home with some man.
" I may have taken that last part too literally.
Let me guess, "Dear Miss Chapman, no one gets furlough.
"Not you, not anyone, but especially not you.
"Love, the DOC.

Read more: